I hid you from view for decades. I was so ashamed to be the first little girl in 4th grade wearing a bra that grew over night in to a “C” Cup…. the HORRIFYING looks from boys, girls, teachers and staff! I was still a little girl but my body developed rapidly in that of a woman by the time I was in the 5th/6th grade.
Here I was, a a girl that had heard the:
“you need to loose weight”
“you’re so pretty if you weren’t so fat…”
All I wanted to do was to wear a box around my torso and hide my now “too young to have such a large chest” body. *Sigh!
I wore loose t-shirts and turtle necks. Living in Southern California these clothing pieces really made a difficult life even more difficult. Fashion in the 80’s was still not “plus size” friendly. I did my best in hiding even though I was failing miserably.
Fast forward through decades of the same – no fashion, no style, shyest thing around when it came to my looks and NO love life…
There came a revolution after the 90210 era – which I didn’t fit it b a long shot. LOL!
What happened?? SELENA happened! She was a LATINA bombshell recreating fashion who had large bosoms and wasn’t afraid to ADORN them. She made much of her clothing and blinged them bras like a beacon of life itself. AND she had a plus size Diva Sister as the drummer in her group that Selena made coordinating outfits for too!
Many Latinas and “Pochas” like myself were glued to our t.v. screens. Bought every CD and watched every video – repeatedly. Like many, I purchased pretty bras, tight jeans and skirts and bedazzled the heck out of them. I wore them like a warrior going out on the field of war. Tied my long black curly hair as high up on my head and raised an eyebrow to anyone that tried to say that I was anything but FIERCE!
Gone were the turtle necks and only wore t-shirts when I played baseball, boxed or worked in my Meat Market at the time. I no longer felt fear of people noticing me and corsets came to live in my life to add a few more inches of fullness to my beautiful bosom.
My quality of life deepened with the impact of this first step of my own body acceptance. For the first time I found love for my poor body that has been fighting a loosing body with the inner me. How could I have felt so badly about the bust that nurtured my children? If I only had a tiny piece of this empowerment when I was that little girl in elementary instead of the feeling of isolation from the rest of the world around me.
In each affirmation I feel sad for the childhood that was overshadowed and can no longer change. Yet I try my best to help my own Daughter to not travel this road. In the instances that she does, she will have this Mom right beside her rooting her on and providing the base to self love so that she may reach her destination decades sooner than I did so that her smile will be as bright and confident as it can possibly be.
Did you have a similar experience? What would/do you say to the young girls and women going through this? **Comment Below**
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