The Beauty Queen© by MizLiz (Domestic Violence Awareness)

The Beauty Queen© by MizLiz (Domestic Violence Awareness)

*Can NOT be reproduced without legal approval*

1957 –  2010
There once was a country girl that dreamed to be the town’s
Beauty Queen.  Her family groomed her to
be just that.  Her Mother said she can be
anything she wanted to be if she worked hard for it.  Soon she found herself winning beauty
pageants and gaining the regional crown at only 16.
Her life was filled with a big loving family and a community
cheering her forward.  Studies revolved
around the medical field and she was well on her way to pursuing her Nursing
degree.  Becoming a Doctor, as a female,
was unheard of in that part of the world. 
Mamá said she can dream big and that is what she will do!

Then LOVE happened…

She wondered how the
Man from the most prestigious family had set his eyes on her.  She was elated by the possibilities.  Dare she believe it?
Soon he was officially courting her and before she knew it
they were married.   He moved them to a
newly built home nesting in the middle of a huge piece of land.  The house was modest and she was curious to see
that every window and door was barred. 
Her husband must have a high interest to keeping them safe and
protected, so she thought.

Life changed for this young budding woman. 
Her studies had to be placed on hold as her body became ready to for the
coming of their first child.  Images of a
tiny baby filling her arms kept her dreaming of the near future.   This is the news she knew would help the
relationship with her husband that has become distant a short while after they
said their vows.

The baby…

Things didn’t get better as she had hoped.   Her husband became increasingly angry.   Days filled with accusations of her flirting
with other men while grocery shopping became the norm.  There was a long list of rules she must
follow in order to keep him at bay. 
Short visits only when he was
present were allowed.  She could no
longer go out shopping or running errands without him.  Hearing him lock the barred doors to the
house spurred her in to action.  How dare
he lock her in this prison with their little girl?!  He ignored her screams demanding he open the
door and drove away without a backward glance.

Keeping her mind busy with the baby calmed the despair that threatened to drown
her completely.  Each hour became a year
of imprisonment.  Life drained from her
with every passing minute.  Sleep was not
allowed.  She must be vigilant and await the arrival of her husband.  Valiantly she fought the sleep but it over
came her frittered nerves. 

The sound of the baby crying brought her to full wakefulness.  The house was filled with light and barely
made out the shadow of her husband standing by the baby’s crib.  Panic took hold of her by the sight.  She ran and placed her body between him and
the crib.  He reeked of smoke and
alcohol.  His eyes were glazed over and
his face was plastered with a sneer of pure evil.  The thought of him picking up their baby in
such a condition made her heart stop.

She pleaded he leave the baby alone. 
Tried to move him away but he held her in place as he called continued
with the accusations and cursings. 
Strength wasn’t on her side when it came down to it.  Before she knew it he was over her and
punching her face and body.  She had
never felt so much pain in her life and doubled over as the attack
continued.  The sound of her baby crying
was barely audible as her head rang from the blows. 

At what moment did he pin her on the floor? 
She was in a daze as if she were in a nightmare.   The sound of her clothing being torn by his
bare hands made her snap out of that daze. 
She clutched at his hands trying to somehow stop them.  She screamed NO!  Followed by a WHY?! 
Or was it in her head that she was screaming.  It was so appalling she couldn’t tell.

Her screams of “STOP!!!! “ Filled the
night.  Her voice croaked after screaming
what seemed for many hours.  Could it
have been minutes?  She didn’t know any
more.  The man she loved had torn apart
her very soul.  Once he was done with his
rape upon her body he put his clothes together and left once again.

The sound of his key locking the metal door was like the sound of the gavel
when sentence is made by a judge.  What
horrible thing has she done to deserve such a conviction?  Her battered body could barely move.  The sounds of her baby crying finally came to
full volume in her ringing head.  Slowly
she dragged her body to the crib.  Relief
filled her very soul seeing that her baby was alright.  She was hungry and pulled her baby to her
bruised breast to feed.  She cried
silently.  Her voice was void of sound
from the screaming she had done only moments before.

The Rapist…

The distant sound of a car brought the hairs on her skin
stand up straight.  The mere memory of
the horror brought vile to her throat.  He had not come back for two days
now.  Every window and door has been
pulled, pushed, rattled and slapped but they won’t budge.  Screaming did very little other than make her
baby cry.  No one heard or cared to help.

On the 3rd day she heard footsteps by her door.  There was no car sounds.  Could this be him?  She froze in panic.  All the scenes she had played in her head
thousands of times on how she would confront him didn’t prepare her for this. 
What to do?!  With breath held and
adrenaline rushing through her veins she takes a stand by her little girls crib
–  ready to protect her baby from what’s to
come.

Rapid banging sounds emerge from the metal door with an
imploring:  “Susie?!”
The voice belonged to her Mother in Law.  I quickly run to open the wooden door and see
her through the metal security door.  I
can see by the guilty look in her eyes that she knows of what has
happened.  I pleaded with her to get us
out… to find a way to help us.  My face
filled with tears I begged for me and my daughter.  She could only look me in the eye for a split
second before turning her gaze back to the floor.  Why isn’t she helping us?!
Realizing that this Mother will not turn her son in for the
criminal acts he’s imposed on them was the harshest reality faced.  Silently she stood clutching her hands
together mentally willing her Mother in Law to take action.  It felt as if she too has passed judgment on
her.  What bad has she done to deserve
such a thing?!

After what seemed an eternity her Mother in Law finally spoke.   There was nothing she could do for her other
than bring the provisions she had placed by the door.  Whatever else was said fell on deaf
ears.  With shaking hands she held up the
water and food she was able to carry.  As
if in this small offering she will gain her forgiveness.  She stood there dumb founded as reality takes
yet another blow to her spirit.  She must
have stood there for a long time because her Mother in Law had given up trying
to speak to her and make her listen to her excuses.  She hurriedly pushed the provisions through
the bars of the window and hurried away.

The baby woke from her nap and her crying brought her back to the now.  She hurried over to her and for the first
time was thankful for the small fact that she had food again.  Her body can continue to produce milk for her
baby.

Another day trickled by and still he
had not returned.  Will he ever?  Her family must think to come visit her at
some point.  Holding on to that life line
was all that kept her sane.  She slept
very little and the trauma and stress of it all was wearing her down.  Slowly she settled herself at the foot of the
crib and slept on the make shift bed she created by her daughter’s crib.

The sound of a car’s engine bolted her awake.  
She was up on her feet staring through the darkness of the night and
making sure her body was in between the crib and the door.  He
opened the door with his keys and drunkenly staggered through the door
way.  Making his way straight to the crib
yelling for me without realizing I was right in front of him as he neared. 

His yelling provoked the baby’s crying.  He lunged for the crib and despite her
pivoting back he was able to grab the baby. 
As she fights to take the baby away from him he pushes her hard to the
side as he yells “SHUT UP!” and throws the baby back in the crib and the baby
lets out a cry that she had never heard from her before.

With the strength that comes to a Mother cornered and ready to lay her life to
protect her offspring, she is able to somehow make him loose his balance and
fall.  In that same super natural moment
she grasps her baby and runs through the door that was left open. 

She runs through the night to the nearest home screaming and
demanding that they open their door. 
Screaming for help as her screams intermingle with the chilling screams
of pain from her child.
She swears she can feel him
breathing down her neck.  Ready to
snatch her back in to the hell she has lived. 
Her hands are stained with blood from the force of her hammering the
neighbor’s door.  Or was it her
daughter’s blood?  Praying that someone
was there and will open the door to help!

Just when she thought she would collapse from it all the door swings open and
she and her daughter are pulled in to safety.

Broken Dreams…
In a Third World Country money gains the laws
forgiveness.  There was no trial and the
people speculated on the truth.

He said she was cheating on him and
reason why he locked her up in that home. 
He said she dropped the baby and was trying to manipulate the system.

She and he know
the truth. 

Life After Tragedy…

Living down the talk that has spread like wild fire was an
impossible in a small town such as this. 
Goliath has won and all that was left to do is pick up the pieces of her
life and continue on.
Gone were the supporting family that upheld her dreams and
goals.  Her Mamá and Papá continued to be
her cheer leaders, just a little less cheer. 
The community speculated on the details of the happenings but she was a sought after Beauty Queen after
all.  His
stories must be true!  Is that child
she’s carrying from one of her lovers?! 
They whispered as she passed by the town’s Avenue with her head held
high.

Where Do I Fit In…

Well my friends, I am the bastard child nick named by him
the moment he found out my Mother was pregnant a few months after she
escaped.  I was conceived during his rape
of my Mother that night.  My Sister
survived the tragedy with a broken cheek bone.
The Motherly bond between us never forged.  I reminded her of all that went wrong -no
matter how innocent I am to the whole situation.  I signified the loss of all her dreams, her love,
her family and the future that he adolescent mind had clung to when she first
set off on that life path. 

I was a little girl that was cared for by everyone else but her.  She gave me away just like an unwanted rag
doll when I was 9 months old. 

This is where my own journey begins…

3 Comments

  1. April 6, 2014 / 2:09 am

    Such transparency. We all have a story. Thank you for sharing yours, as it will encourage others. Blessings. Xoxoxoxo Dani

    • April 6, 2014 / 2:23 am

      Thank you Danielle! I share my wins, losses and trials in hopes strength will be found for those that need them.

  2. April 6, 2014 / 4:01 am

    Amen to you sister. Dani thanks for putting me onto her journey.

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